墨扎 - 提斯瓦魯卡拉哈里華麗私人野生動物保護區

We are just leaving Tswalu Loapi camp and I am struggling to find the superlatives to do it justice. We have stayed for four nights and it exceeded all expectations. The staff are incredible and our butler Tshego and chef Meraka were excellent and nothing was too much trouble from planning menus to suiting our time for meals. The setting is outstanding and vast and if you are looking for wall to wall animals then perhaps this is not the place for you however we saw all the animals we needed e.g. wild dogs (my favourite), lions, cheetah with cubs, black and white rhino and various others. Our dream team of Michaela and Jackson tried everything possible to make our game drives interesting and informative. We are sorry to leave but hopeful of a return visit one day.

It was with huge excitement that we paid our meal charge of R2,500 per head; travelled up from Cape Town; checked in at nearby van Zylsrus hotel; paid our R350 Tswalu transfer fee and arrived at one of the ‘local’ KleinJan lunches. We are ardent and committed Jan fans. From superb meals at Restaurant Jan to a banquet at Jan’s Innovation Studio in CapeTown to the cook books and ALL the Journals. We were asked to arrive early. We did and waited 30 minutes for the bus to come. At the restaurant we were disappointed to see part of the ‘theatre’ - the washing - was hanging half off the line and was filthy. Go to the toilet, and the ball valve was stuck so the Kalahari’s most precious resource - water - was running down the drain. Our aperitifs were accompanied by some seeds and olives - the seeds were burnt and tasted like that. What we didn’t know was that this was designated as one of our “8 courses” and the only dish served hot. Down to the root cellar we went. Tremendous theatre. Wonderful staircase. In the cellar, we were welcomed “We hope you enjoy your dinner this evening”. The time was actually 12h45. We were presented with three small plates each with a tiny piece of food and a thimbleful of “truffle soup” - we live in truffle country : this soup was made from mushrooms. Little did we know, but now we were on course 2! We arrived at our table to be greeted with a hearty “Good evening”. A small course 3 arrived, still no sommelier and no wine. Our disappointment started to crank up when we were asked “are you still working on this?” prior to clearing the plate. American diner-speak in the Kalahari at KleinJan! The next course arrived - paper thin bread sticks concealed in dry grasses - clever, yes. Course 4, no! And we now were offered wine to ‘pair’ with our bread. A plate garnished with fluffy corn bread, popcorn, a burnt small maize cob, blobs of yellow and then all smothered by a very nervous waiter in a yellow sauce. Sorry, Jan - it was cold and tasteless. This was course 5 and we still had not seen a menu. We watched the plating of Course 6 by the chefs and while we waited we noticed that the other tables had started to attack the cheese room and the two magnificent cheese tables. Our tiny rolled, cold beef and some indistinguishable vegetables arrived and we managed to despatch this to join the rush on the cheese table. The cheeses were magnificent and the waiter doing the explanations superb : real Jan standard! On average the guests were having 4-5 cheese plates each. The only way to find sustenance! Course 8 was served as dessert - a tiny meringue covered something : we were not sure! No explanation from the waiters as they informed us that the menus were “not ready”. However, on opening our Jan magazine given to us on departure there was the menu! We were, however, given a poem written on a card and when we asked our Afrikaans-speaking waitron what a specific Afrikaans word “Swartfoloos”meant, we were told that s

Outstanding from start to finish. We spent three nights in this, understated, stylish lodge. The rooms were spacious, comfortable and warm. The staff were fantastic. Friendly, efficient and attentive. Food was excellent. The landscape is stunning and there is enough game to keep attention. The guides were very knowledgeable. As well as game viewing, we were able to learn much about the flora, fauna and ecology.